Tideland the film, and the resilience of a child.

Could you ever imagine being 9 years old and completely alone? Or surviving off half an ant filled jar of peanut butter and cooking up your father's daily heroine fix?


Before you watch this film you must forget the norm, everything you have learned and know. The Terry Gilliam film, Tideland, is closely based on the twisted novel by Mitch Cullin. Set in the prairie lands of the Midwest, the story follows Jeliza-Rose (Jodelle Ferland), a young girl who is hopelessly thrown into dark and dangerous situations but somehow seems to bounce back.

Jeliza creates her complex fantasy world to cope with the horrors and tragedies that take place in her life. This film is like nothing I've ever seen, while being funny, touching, and disturbing, it draws up a fascinating tension between fantasy and reality.


With heavy references to Alice in Wonderland, Jeliza faces her parents constant neglect, their fatal drug addictions, becomes somewhat romantically involved with a mentally disabled man, Dickens (Brendan Fletcher), and even witnesses human mummification.

There are some scenes that made even my stomach turn, but I love how despite all the horrors she is forced to face, Jeliza never loses her pure wonder and innocence. Photo from firstshowing.net


In times of great despair and fear, Jeliza's lines show that stark resilience some children have. Perhaps all of these fairy tales we read as children build us a shield against the cruelty we might encounter in life.
"You dreaming yourself far away, Daddy? Further than the 100 years ocean, beyond Jutland...deep, deep, deep, in the place where dreams are made. We'll be a happy family, we'll build a castle of crooked branches, and flattened pennies...We could eat butter tarts and drink lemonade from gold plated paper cups...I'll dream myself there too...If I shut my eyes and try hard enough, maybe I'll wake inside your dream."

Her real life is so shocking, that as things become too hard to bear, she delves deeper into her imagination, accompanied by her 4 very opinionated doll head friends. As time passes, you wonder just how much farther she will go, and if she ever will come back.

Filmed with the "Gilliam lens"-the extremely wide angles let you sink into the surreal scenery, matched to perfection with the haunting soundtrack by Mychael and Jeff Danna. While heavily revolving around fantasy, this film also has a gritty, edginess that keeps you with one foot 'through the looking glass' and one still planted on the other side.

Even with a cataclysmic ending, there is still beauty shown in plain sight in the midst of destruction.

Coronation Street fighting for the bottom

Photo from thesun.co.uk

In the 1960's, England's television became afflicted with the dreaded soap opera bug. Coronation Street being in my opinion, the lowest of the low in all of U.K program history. The mere intro was always enough to make me cringe and slip out of the room. Now I realise the dark power of the horrid theme song, the drippy beat coupled with a mangy cat, and the depressing, strangely barren town of "Weatherfield" are enough to make anyone sink into their settee in a state of utter despair.

The Coronation Street opening theme



After EastEnder's popped onto the telly in 1985, there was big competition in the world of sh*t tv. It was time for Coronation Street to bulk on the trash factor, scenes would appear that were usually saved just for American soaps.

thesun.co.uk

I always found the fighting scenes the most entertaining. I'm assuming the Fights in Coronation Street are the only reason the show still has ratings and the sets have not been put through a chipper and burned to oblivion as of yet.

The most in-depth characters in an infomercial ever seen.

How many of us actually pay attention to late night infomercials? I always figured the only way any of the info on these ads enter brains is when we've fallen asleep and accidentally left the tv on. I shudder to think of how many times I subconsciously memorized this one.


Photo from infomercial-hell.com

Not only is this commerical filmed in rubbish lighting like most soap operas where you never see the outdoors, the characters bring a whole other world into existence. A world of young love, lust, elderly pigheadedness, gluttony, eating disorders, bad toupees, fake breasts, human evaporation and so much more.


The Bullet Express infomercial

Notice in the first few frames-the two children rush in, and are never seen again. Surely children would want to be around for mountains of food that magically sloshes out of a machine?

The couple are the last to make an entrance in to the kitchen, holding hands and looking extremely smug with sh*t-eating grins on their faces. Through out the entire ad the young man's eyes widen with amazement with what the Bullet Express can do, and then he looks to his lover, the blonde for approval. Then comes the attached-at-the-hip couple smile- with the wincing eyes that make them look like they're slightly in pain.

At 0:25 see mother of the invisible children's face turn into a freakish grimace as she listens to old lady no.1 rant about how there isn't any food set out to eat already. Around the time of the meatloaf that looks just like spam, old lady no.2 appears to be literally looking at the machine out of her nostrils.

When the nachos appear, so does the fat guy 'Ralphi' again. This company is setting a horrible stereotype that all overweight peoples lives revolve around food, and they are a bit thick in the head. Him grabbing the plate of nachos, putting one in his mouth and reaching for another before he has even chewed the first, let alone closed his lips around it, also signifies this man could have an eating disorder. He toddles off with the plate of nachos and sits in the armchair by himself. Later on the hosts play a joke on Ralphi, calling him to fetch a knife and cut up some veggies, knowing full well the Bullet Express will be done before he catches his breath.

I have to say, after all of my bashing, this has to be my favorite infomercial of all time. I've never gotten such a strong idea of what the characters personal lives are like in any other ad. Thank you Bullet Express.

First post...again...round 2.

I revamped the page and the posts will all be fresh. Like this page has it's own character, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if it mutates once again. Hopefully I will be able to keep up.